Posted on November 21, 2016

There has rarely been a more important time than now to accept that truly significant gaps exist in our society.  That should come as no surprise to anyone.  At present, our society is about chasms.  Wider and deeper than we perhaps believed only a couple of weeks ago.

The Election That Changed Everything (TETCE), as we refer to it at The Monday Minute (or two), occurred less than two weeks ago. Feels much longer, doesn’t it?  Such is the effect, regardless of your political views, of shock.  Time slows.  Emotions are magnified.  For some, the world as it was has ended.  For others, life may now have more meaning as voices have been heard, possibly for the first time.  Given the results of TETCE, 50% of us are thrilled and 50% of us are crushed.  In that remarkable dichotomy lies the problem.

What kind of society are we when 50% of us feel unheard, invisible, unvalued?  Equally important, what kind of society are we when 50% of us do not recognize that the other half feels unheard, invisible, unvalued?  Are half of us unable to find a way to be heard while the other half of us is uninterested or, worse, ignorant?  Are our realities so vastly different that we speak two languages, one not known to the other?  Perhaps we should call it The Election That Revealed We Haven’t Been Listening to Each Other, although TETRWHBLTEO is a bit awkward and certainly would not work on a t-shirt.

Need a simple, poignant example of the effects of not being listened to?  Reread the letter published last week in this space.  ‘There aren’t too many feelings worse than feeling ignored and feeling invisible,’ the employee wrote.  We agree.  The author’s pain is palpable.  Might that workplace experience mirror that of at least half our society?  Might that experience reflect yours?

Our research indicates that many do not feel listened to, much less heard, and therefore do not feel valued at work.  Some have been screaming, at work and in society, at the top of their lungs for years.  Others have softer voices and are that much easier to ignore.  Some have simply stopped trying out of frustration for lack of attention.  Regardless, we, collectively, have not listened.  Not really.  We have not stopped to ask.  We have not attempted to see a different perspective.  We have not tried to understand.  We have not learned.  Instead, we have gone about our lives, thankful that their existence, their problems, are not ours.  Whoever ‘they’ are.

So, now what? Revel in The Big Win? Feel validated and justifiably optimistic?  Don a safety pin?  Support or bemoan Super Delegates and/or the Electoral College?  Wish for that giant meteor?

In many ways, it is not at all about the outcome of the election.  It is about what preceded it.  Regardless of your political views, we have some gaps to close.  Let us start by listening to each other.  Listening is a hard but essential skill that begins with a true interest in the ideas and perspectives of others.  It requires selflessness.  Listening involves setting aside our perceptions and assumptions so that we can ask questions and hear the responses to those questions.  Listening is about accepting what is heard and allowing that information to alter or expand our views or, at the very least, our understanding.  Listening is bidirectional.  No one should be immune or exempted.

If closing the societal gap by listening is too difficult, start easy.  Hold the door for someone, let that car merge in front of you, wave to the driver who lets you in, give up your seat on the bus or train, smile, say ‘Hello,’ ask how someone’s day is going.  Then move up.  Ask how someone voted.  Ask why.  Do not judge.  Instead, seek to understand, to learn.  These acts may not change the world, but each might give someone the sense that they have value.

Because it is all about ensuring that people around us feel valued. Whether at work or elsewhere.

Happy Thanksgiving.