Posted on November 28, 2016

For a species that relies so heavily on communicating, we are surprisingly inept at it.  Whether at home or at work, it’s as if we take pains to avoid it, especially when it comes to important things.  Like expressing appreciation or dealing with poor performers.

Let’s start with Thanksgiving.  Do we designate one day out of the year to give thanks and show appreciation just to be sure that we will do it at least once a year?  Same with Mother’s and Father’s Day or, as they are known in our house, The Hallmark Holidays.  One day a year to thank parents? Employee Appreciation Day, or whatever it’s called where you work, is another annual event designed to recognize the group most executives refer to, at least in public, as ‘our most cherished asset’ and certainly the people who make or break an organization.  Only one day to appreciate them?

Are we unable or unwilling to share our appreciation, gratitude, and thankfulness to people essential to us on a more frequent basis? We know humans need to feel appreciated.  So why do we do it so infrequently?  Is it too difficult?  Too embarrassing?  Too touchy-feely?  We believe that being appreciative – and saying so – should be a regularly occurring behavior.  It’s that important.

Maybe we prefer to avoid discussing emotionally laden topics.  Like our political views, especially with those we know are opposed to them.  (How was your Thanksgiving? T ry to talk about the election?)  Or job performance.  It’s easy to praise those who excel – though our bet is that we, collectively, do it far too infrequently.  In contrast, there’s nothing quite like having to talk with someone who is under performing.  Oh, the horror!  Stammering, stuttering, perspiration, angst.  And that’s the person providing the feedback!  This might explain why nearly all organizations designate only one official time annually to review performance.  The reality is that if we talk about job performance only once a year it simply must not be that important.  It certainly must not be a priority to have everyone perform at a peak level.  Worse, and herein lies the point:  If we talk about job performance only once a year, we are, for whatever reasons, not respecting those who are performing at a high level and those who are not.  And that lack of respect, despite the intent, becomes a defining feature of the organization.  Try recruiting top talent with an image on the street of a lack of respect for those who excel.  Try keeping them.

Indeed, our research has shown that under-appreciating top performance and ignoring poor performers has at least two serious longer-term implications:

1. Top talent will go elsewhere; and, critically
2. Forget winning, because mediocrity will be yours to cherish. For years.

Discussing job performance, whether great or subpar, should not be an event.  It should be a regular topic discussed openly.  And it should be done well.  Praise often and avoid providing feedback. Instead, offer assistance, guidance, support.  Be a coach and help those around you thrive.  Dislodge that cat from your tongue and demonstrate a commitment to building skills and abilities among both high and poor performers.  Doing so will make it clear that people are important, that they are valued.  Which, as you undoubtedly know, is a very good thing.