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A Modest Plea

Posted on December 24, 2017

[This was first published on April 24, 2017.]

There’s been a lot of talk lately about building a wall along our southern border.  Regardless of your political perspective on that wall, we’re also watching another wall being built, one possibly more divisive.  A wall meant to divide us.  And the truly sad part about this wall: We’re the ones building it.  Brick by brick.

We see the building blocks of our wall everywhere: ‘Republicans,’ ‘Democrats,’ ‘red states,’ ‘blue states,’ Trump supporters, anti-Trump protesters, Fox News, CNN, MSNBC, the print news media.  Labels that attempt to define us and, in turn, separate us.  We even see ugly signs of it in Berkeley and on the University of California, Berkeley campus – a town and a university famous for free and diverse speech.  First, the self-defined provocateur Milo Yiannopoulous was prevented from speaking on campus and now conservative pundit Ann Coulter’s speech has been canceled because of a threat of violence.  At Berkeley?  Not permitting someone whose views differ from your own to speak, no matter how controversial, is shameful.  The town and the university should know better.

But that was then and this is now.  We’re building a wall and we’re seeing signs of it everywhere.

Whether we realize it or not, the wall we’re building is designed to achieve two diabolical goals:

  • Alienate us from each other, and
  • Prevent us from talking to each other – and especially listening to each other. Which, of course, helps achieve the first objective.

So far, we are doing a distressingly effective job with our wall.  For the most part, we are as alienated and polarized as we’ve been in decades – if not since the Civil War – and appear to have opted not to talk to those who may hold a differing opinion from our own.  Nor allow those with differing points of view to be heard.  Many people are actually afraid to voice their opinions, not knowing what reaction or reprisal may occur.  Opting not to talk and not allowing others to speak openly are sure signs of a sturdy wall.  And of a society that’s dangerously dysfunctional.  For it’s impossible to learn if we elect not to share and not to listen.

This dysfunction has crept into the workplace.  Employees, in private, bemoan that they are unable or, worse, afraid to speak freely about issues at work with coworkers who hold opposing political views.  This causes subtle but important ‘fissures in our team,’ as one employee put it, ‘fissures that are preventing us from being the effective team we used to be.’   Another summed it up aptly, if dramatically: ‘It’s very difficult to work with coworkers day in and day out who believe what they believe – and not be able to talk about it.  This is going to kill us.’

Unfortunately, this dynamic is becoming widespread and has the potential to undermine even the most efficient and successful teams and organizations.  Unless something is done about it, and soon.

To begin, we offer Radical (and likely contentious) Premise #1: Those guys – whoever ‘those guys’ are – are not wrong.  And you are not right.  Their views may be diametrically opposed to yours, and you may find their opinions to be repugnant, but they are not wrong and you are not right.  It’s called a ‘different opinion.’  (Note: We are not referring here to facts based on science or empirical data.  Those are unimpeachable.  But opinions on non-fact-based topics are, by definition, not ‘right’ or ‘wrong.’  That’s why they’re called ‘opinions.’)

Radical Premise #2: We need to talk about our different opinions.  Not to change the opinions of others, mind you, but, instead, to understand their perspectives.  Sharing our views and attempting, even struggling, to understand the opinions of others is essential to a healthy society and a well-functioning organization.  Listening is a demonstration of respect, something we appear to be losing for each other.  Facilitating such a discussion at work has proven to be an effective approach to airing differences of opinion and helping teams regain – if not strengthen – their ability to work together effectively and, importantly, their respect for each other.

Radical Premise #3: We cannot allow alienation to become the new normal.  We’re better than that.  You are, too, Berkeley.

We at The Schnur Group wish you and your family a very Merry Christmas!  See you next Monday.

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